Unit
3
Terms
of reference reflect one’s family status. In the reading texts mothers and
fathers are referred to by the name of one of their offspring, their first
born child. For example: mama Hadija, baba Hadija. In some families,
the first born male may be selcted as the term of reference irrespective of
the fact that he may have older female siblings. Thus, Mama and baba
of Hadija would be referred to as baba na mama Hidarusi
since he is the first born male. Grandparents and older folk are referred
to as babu /mzee for males and bibi for women. Siblings
show respect to each other, with the youngest referring to their older brother
as kaka so and so and their older sister as dada so and so.
Aunts and uncles are also referred to as uncle or aunt so and so, never by
their first or last name only. For example: shangazi Hadija ‘aunt Hadija’
and mjomba Ahmedi ‘uncle Ahmedi.’ Children refer to the parents of
their friends as baba so and so or mama so and so (e.g. baba
Hadija/mama Hadija), never by their own first or last names. Friends of
the father and mother may be given the honorary title of uncle or aunt.
The
following are kinship terms and the relationship they invoke.
baba father
baba
mdogo younger
brother of one’s father
baba
mkubwa older
brother of one’s father
ami younger or
older brother of one’s father
mama mother
mama
mdogo younger
sister of one’s mother
mama
mkubwa older
sister of one’s mother
shangazi father’s sister
mjomba mother’s brother
(uncle)
binamu cousin
mpwa niece
or nephew
mkaza
mjomba wife
of one’s uncle
Both
family members on the father and mother’s side are very important. They form
the first group of immediate members of the extended family. They assume responsibilities
of the father and mother if they are unable to raise or care for the children.
To uncles and aunts (in the English sense which includes brothers and sisters
of both the father and mother), the children of a brother or a sister are
no less than their own. This close relationship makes the term cousin restricted.
That is, the children of the brother of one’s father are brothers and sisters
to each other and are rarely referred to as cousins. However, the children
of one’s aunt can be referred to by the term binamu ‘cousin.’ The term
ami is more commonly used by coastal Swahili speakers to refer to the
brother of one’s father.
The
role of grandparents is very significant in the African cultures. They help
raise children and take an active role in teaching their grandchildren morals,
good behavior, and self-reliance. Grandparents have an opportunity to do this
because they often spend more time with the children while their parents are
at work in the city or on the farm. Grandparents use the wisdom acquired through
a long experience of raising children to provide a nurturing atmosphere which
help shape the lives of the young ones. Grandparents consider it their responsibility
to make a difference in their grandchildren’s lives. Often times they try
to compensate for the mistakes they may have made in raising their sons and
daughters, the parents of their grandchildren. Grandparents teach their grandchildren
the history of their community and family. Often times, the teaching is done
in the form of oral stories.
African
families are very social. Families, including neighbors, regularly visit each
other, sometimes on a daily basis. Meals are also shared by members of the
family and invitation to share a meal is assumed and does not require a formal
notification. That means, if you are at someone’s house, they expect you to
share a meal with them regardless to whether your visit was planned or unplanned.
Neighbors, who happen to pass-by during a meal time, are automatically invited
to eat. One can respectfully decline to eat by first taking a small portion
of the meal to honor those who cooked it. Thereafter, it is acceptable to
sit and talk to those who are eating or to leave.
In
social gatherings like parties at home, female members of the household or
relatives of the host serve the guests. Sometimes young men can be asked to
help with serving drinks and taking away the dishes after a meal. However,
it is women who are expected to cook, serve, and wash dishes. Thus, the responsibility
of food gathering, food preparation and distribution is reserved for women
and it is considered improper for a man to interfere with those duties.