family description
How is the Yoruba family unique?
What constitutes the nuclear family and the roles of members in it?
What constitutes the extended family?
How is polygamy practiced?
How is the Yoruba family unique?
The Yoruba have a family structure, which is very unique. It is unique in the sense that it is community based and a form of grass root ‘government’. It is upon this grass root government that other tiers of governments within the society are built. There are two levels of family organization among the Yoruba people, the immediate or nuclear family level and the kinship or extended family level. These two levels highlight both blood and marital relationships. However, customarily, the most important and highly highlighted familial relationships are along blood lines. Yoruba families are customarily patrilineal and patrilocal in nature.
What constitutes the nuclear family and the roles of members in it?
The nuclear family consists of the father or baba, mother or mama/Iya and the children or omo. Polygamy is practiced among the Yoruba, men can marry more than one wife. Both the wives and the half brothers/sisters or Obakan in a polygamous family still constitute parts of the nuclear family. It is the duty of the father to fend for the entire family and especially the children. He provides for all their needs. The traditional Yoruba society is agrarian in nature, the children learn how to farm until they are mature enough to have their own separate portion of land. In the alternative, the father may look for appropriate trade or vocation for them. The boys get their liberty when they are married and start their own independent lives but within the same compound. The girls, on the other hand are married out into other families. The mother serves as the main ‘operation manager’ within the nuclear family. She is a wife, a mother and the administrator of the household economy. She contributes to the farm work, caters to the need of the family and is generally responsible for nurturing and directly molding the character of the children, especially the girls. In old age, children are expected to take absolute care of the parents by providing for all their needs. Bí òkété bá dàgbà, omú omo rè ni i mu ‘when the bush rat is advanced in age, it depends on its child’s breast milk for survival.’
What constitutes the extended family system?
The extended family system is another layer of structure higher than the nuclear. Members of the extended family usually live in a large compound (a round structure with a court –yard at the center). It consists of as many nuclear families as they can have within the compound. They live a community based live. The agboole or agbo ile or family compound is headed by the baale or head of the family. He is the representative of the entire extended family in the village or town council. He acts as the caretaker of the family properties and also ensures that the burial ground or oju-oori of his predecessors are well taken care of. He makes sure that the family deities are worshipped as at when due. He ensures that there is peace and tranquility within the ebi or family by settling all scores and disputes that may arise. He is the custodian of (the) family tradition and knowledge. He may not necessarily be the richest among the men within the extended family but he is the oldest. Whenever he dies, the title is not given to his son or aremo, but it is given to the eldest living male within the family.
The baale is also supported by Iyoaale or iya kaa who is the overall head of all the women within the extended family. She is usually the oldest amongst the women folks. She distributes and apportions duties to other women within the family. She also settles disputes amongst women. Whenever there are functions or ceremony within the agbo-ile, she co-ordinates the cooking and serving of food. She assists the baale in the day-to-day running of the agbo-ile. In most cases, when other women go out everyday to buy and / or sell; they all leave their children with her and she acts as the nanny for the agbo-ile.
The entire members within the compound live a communal life. Someone’s business is everybody’s business. Whenever anybody has anything to do or he’s affected by anything, the entire family or ebi rally round him / her. As occasion demands, the entire extended family wears the same type of dress, shoe, cap and tie to match or aso-ebi if one of them is celebrating any event.
Elders behave to the children within the compound equally without discrimination. The younger ones also respect the elders accordingly. The entire families are bound together by family ties or alajobi and nobody dares to go against the norms and values of the family. Anybody that does this, the spirit of their forefathers or oku-orun are invoked and the consequences may be calamitous for such individual.
The Yoruba cherished family tiers so much. They believe that anyone with whom they have blood relations within the extended family is of the same father and mother. They have just five words with which they show family relationships. These are:
Baba – Father Aburo - Junior
Iya/ Mama - Mother Omo - Child
Egbon - Senior
There isn’t much ambiguity about these kinship terms and their usage. Any man within the extended family who is probably old enough to be one’s father is regarded as baba or father; likewise, any woman who is old enough to be one’s mother is regarded as Iya/mama or mother. Any man or woman who is older than someone but not enough to be one’s father or mother is regarded as egbon or senior. Likewise, anybody within the family that is junior to someone is regarded as aburo or junior. All within the family that are likely to be old or less than one’s son or daughter are regarded as omo or child; Yoruba culture abhors the use of the following phrases:
i. My father’s junior brother
ii. My father’s senior brother
iii. My mother’s junior sister
iv. My mother’s senior sister
Whenever they are used, they are interpreted to mean that the speaker is overtly expressing the wish to distance himself/herself from the addressees. It is a subtle denial of any intimate relationship. The implication of the usage is that it invariably causes a breakdown of harmonious relationship within the family.
Instead of the above phrases, they use the phrases below:
v. Baba kekere younger or small father as against i above
vi. Baba agba older or big father as against ii above
vii. Iya/ mama kekere younger or small mother as against iii above
viii. Iya/ mama agba older or big mother as against ii above.
These terms, along with references to vocation, residence (if the person in question resides outside the compound) and so on, can also be used to identify the many different baba and iya that a person has within the extended family.
Marriage is a family affair in Yoruba land. Even though, the boys may approach and woo any girl of their choice, it is the father and other men within the extended family that will go to the girl’s house to seek her hand in marriage from her parent. Consequently, marriage is considered a bond between two families ‘idana’ and not just between the oko husband and iyawo/aya wife. The families that are united become ana or in-laws which is another cherished relationship within Yoruba society.
How is polygamy practiced?
The custom of ‘one man, many wives’ is both traditionally and contemporarily acceptable among the Yoruba people. The practice of polygamy allows men to marry more than one woman. However, men marry as many wives as their financial capacity can allow. Some marry two, three, six, eight or even more. It is a welcome development. In certain places within the Yoruba society, the man’s affluence, wealth and even popularity are measured based on the number of wives and children he has. The wives or orogun live harmoniously within the same compound. They behave as sisters. Although, there are cases in which the wives or orogun are always at loggerheads even on trivial issues.
Within the family at large, elders do not joke with their first wife or iyaale. The first wife or iyaale is very powerful. It is her duty to apportion duties (such as sweeping and general cleaning of the compound, fetching of water for the entire family, fetching of firewood and other household duties) to other wives and to ensure compliance. She even prepares a roaster the order in which the husband would “visit” with each wife. She disciplines any erring wife either by banning their husband from her room for a certain period or by other forms of punishment. The iyaale takes charge of all the children to the extent of breast-feeding the toddlers of other younger wives in their absence. All the children also eat with her from the same plate. It is a taboo for younger wives to call the children born before they are married into the family by their first names. All they do is to create pet names like Ajisafe “one who wakes up to socialize stylishly’; Alaran ‘the owner of velvet cloth’; Eyinfunjowo ‘teeth whiter than money (silver coins)’; Akowe ‘the town clerk’; Idi-ileke ‘the waist for coral beads ornamentation’; Ibadi-aran ‘the buttocks of velvet or for velvet clothing; Ayiluko ‘the plumpy/rotund one who rolls into her husband in bed’.
If the husband dies, his younger brother or baba kekere has the right to re-marry any of the brother’s wives he so wishes. This is known as opo-sisu. It is a taboo for the senior brother or baba agba to re-marry any of his deceased junior brother’s wives. The option is available for the wives not to re-marry. Some wives may not bear re-marrying their husband’s junior brother, hence they go back to their parents’ house. Women can also go back to their parent’s house if they divorce or if they are from the royal family, they, thus, became omo-osu in their house. However, if the women re-marry outside her former husband’s domain for any reason and have children, these children or half brothers / sisters are iyekan.